Drug addiction
by hobbit4ever
Summary: By fate to its knees! Last resort: Escape experienced before! What possibilities does a child that everything was taken? Bellas, silent plea for help was ignored! So ... she was looking for himself what. She found it quickly! But, ... a child can make the right decision for his life? How would you choose? Life or death? Future or past? Process or forget ...
1. Chapter 1

Hello dear readers

** This story is an approved translation of jennalynn**

The original .de/s/4fe059320002120c06705dc0

it encourages us to think of and I'm so glad that I got the approval  
looks but just have a look and write your opinion

hobbit

drug addiction

Prolouge

If a complete and perfect his life happens, you forget to appreciate it quickly. You can see it as self-evident and does not expect that a moment can change everything. In life there are many unplanned events. Events covering both small and large changes of each individual with himself. Changes have had a positive as well as negative impact on a life. On a soul ... they may be ever so small.

The fate does not ask, it strikes. Whether you're ready for such a strike. And in the end there is only the knowledge of what has been gained or lost. You do not get an opportunity to share the what happens before it happens, to deal with. Dumb you have to watch as the usual way is to sway.

Misfortunes have no regard for the victims. No matter how old, or he may be innocent. Hit it a once, there is no escape. One is left with what's left. So it was at least for me!

I'm Isabella Marie Cullen. And I am one of the many persons whose fate it meant anything but good with. Although that's not quite right. Put it this way, ... I had to go a long and difficult road before I found my happiness and therefore my place in this world. After much suffering and influential strikes in my young life, fate struck again in my mind.

Today I am happy! Even though I will never forget my past, I've learned to deal with it. Too many years I've been trying to fight it. That they will catch up with me one day, I have never considered. I thought I had chosen the right way to work around with all the experiences are back can take me. But the truth was very different.

I had not chosen the right, but the easiest way. But today I know that up to this realization, much time passed. A time of sorrow, pain, grief, worry, anxiety and feeling.

I'll tell you a little bit of me!

I was born on 13.09.1987 in Seattle. My birth name was Isabella Marie Swan. My parents, Charlie and Renee Swan were both very young when they had me. They married a few months after graduating from high school and got me, 11 months later. They soon found themselves in their role as parents. My mom stayed at home and cared for me, my dad took a job in the police department. On 17/05/1989 my little brother Seth was born.

I loved him from the day he was born, immortal. While I was rather quiet and shy, his quirky and curious nature showed in his early childhood. Our parents had their hands full. We were like cat and dog. But the cohesion between us was stronger than any dispute.

Except Mum and Dad, we had no family. Both Mums, Dads and parents have died early. Shortly after Seth's birth, my father's mother died. She was the last of our grandparents. My mother's sister lives in Germany. The contact between the sisters broke completely shortly after Mother's conclusion. She was 3 years older than Mum. She married a German scientist and toured the world with him. Always on the lookout, for new Ungeklärtheiten.

Our parents had completed their family planning. Seth held her enough to tramp. He was a real whirlwind. I watched with a smile and his attacks. But a celebration, a bit too much wine and nine months later, was our little sister Emily, on 11/03/1994 to the world. Seth turned out to be a protector and was visibly calmer. Our parents were relieved to hear his change and I enjoyed the sense of security that was given to us.

My childhood was perfect. I had great parents, great sisters and friends. I did well in school, getting good grades and wrote had no difficulty to follow. I went three times a week to ballet. With me, I was happy. I was more of an average child. Always pale, but my skin was pure and soft. I have brown tight curls and chocolate brown eyes. My father's eyes! I have always been slim. Not lanky, but not too muscular. Just normal.

And I was happy! Normal, everything was what I wanted and had. But all that was taken from me in an instant. A moment that changed me and my life, forever. You can find out what happened to me, then come with me. In the time of my past. Go back in time, before my seventeenth birthday.


	2. Friendship

**Hello dear readers**

now here is the first chapter of Drug Addiction.

The story belongs jennalynn. The people of the known Stephanie Meyer

**Have fun and remember: Drugs are bad**

hobbit4ever

Bella POV

"Damn it, Bella ... the cops. RUN! "

Still kneeling on the seat of a red car was foreign to me, I stuck my head out the door and looked down the street. It was like a slow-motion recording of any action movie in which there were idiots who keep track of how the their cars along the streets, tear and while they rush around a curve, the audience in slow motion that happen rising. And then, like a button, changed the speed and drive it in the breakneck pace.

Only, when this recording not acted adrenaline junkies who are looking for more prestige and the next kick, but no less than to the police in person from Seattle. The straight out of a side street and now, to come directly to us. And not to give us a show and chase someone in old fashion pursuers, no ... they had already found their target.

"Oh-oh... shit, "I yelled out and hopped in a sentence, backed out of the truck and took my legs in the hand.

Jake was right behind me and was constantly curses himself. Behind us were the sirens and gave us the best proof that we were the hunted. Since we had some philistine observed from the window and called the cops. Because this damn street was deserted. The Seattle police took it in fact for some time more and more to the task, the children `dangerous' as we are all so beautiful names to pick from the road. And then it can well happen that the same a whole escort.

"Darn it, the damn radio even had Bluetooth," I grumbled gasping air.

"We just have a different problem ... and now run faster," Jake yelled at me and grabbed at the same time for my hand to pull me into a small side street.

We ran like the loony from a side street to the next. Looked around and constantly hounded on busy streets, ignoring the squeal of tires and kept going. Even as a long time no siren noise could be heard, Jake pulled me further mercilessly.

One would think that I should be used to it. But it was time and time again, tiring as hell. My thighs and my lungs were burning and I was close to a heart attack.

"Wait, wait ... STOP. I cannot, "I gasped.

"A bit, we are equal to the cellar hatch."

I envied him for his perseverance. After miles he still had breath like a diver and not a drop of sweat lost, while I ran out like a Sahara walk. He would be the best athletes were not for the drug testing. I chuckled at my thoughts and got a scathing glance of Jake thrown. He found such situations always anything but fun.

It was only at the cellar door I registered my surroundings. We had arrived at the western district of Seattle. So quite a bit away from 'home'. Still, we knew every hiding place in the city. As is this here, an open cellar hatch. Been unnoticed for a good nine months, because this basement was not a tenant. Good for us, bad for the bulls. Here that would never find us!

Jake helped me into it and as soon as we were in the dark room, I let myself fall to the ground, panting. Oh ... I hurt anything! A giggle out of the corner let me look up. I pushed the sweaty hair out of his face and eyes narrowed to slits.

"This is not a bit funny," I snapped at him.

Smiled, but the next moment even about me. It was the same every time. He ... behind the picture of health, I personally ... the grim reaper. Well, almost every time ... he was not as often as he wanted.

"You're right, that's not really funny," he spoke seriously, and I sighed.

"Come down again, nothing happened."

He snorted and walked slowly toward me. His huge figure would probably please everyone, crouching on the ground girl, scared, but it impressed me more. I knew he would never hurt me hurt. He would be for me to throw in front of a train, he could save my life by it. Only there was no way to save my life, just as there was for his life. We were lost ... and that's a good thing!

Even though I my best friend, the one with the dark skin, black, short hair and black eyes honest not want to see death, and it was inevitable. Jacob did not have to lose the impression. His stature was madness, he had increased thickness of muscle fibers, which seemed like it, every night of their hardness. Everyone who knew him wondered where his body had the power. He was one of the very few in which the heroine ("H" Entsch) left no traces VISIBLE. He always had a friendly smile and a very strong, very protective instinct. Most of the time in the day, he spent laughing so and to make others laugh. He has a good soul and a great personality. He looks awfully good and he's strong, very strong.

But all who know him know better that he can relate this strength only on his muscles. Because deep down, he is just as broken as any of us. And ... he's all I have left!

He sat down beside me and put his arm around her shoulders. Pulled me to him and I leaned my head against his broad chest.

"It's getting worse. They hunt us like mangy dogs. A year ago, they would have sent out a patrol car was traveling too slowly, just because the bored policemen had no desire for a cat and mouse game. Arrived at the scene, they took notes, talked to the victim, taken some statements that stamped and then placed into a thick file. Now they haunt us through the whole city, with flashing lights and more than two patrol cars. "

I listened in silence to his monologue. I snuggled closer to him and closed her eyes tired.

"Chrisi and Danny were caught two days ago. Stella says it has removed them as felons. Handcuffed and blue light. Here is Danny, not yet 14 years old. You do not worry about the soul of a child. They do not care, as it is all matter. The main thing missing from the scene so that no trouble anymore. But what causes the trouble, which no one asks. "

I sighed. Of which he had not told me anything. He had found out yesterday when he had to go alone, because I was so dirty. Normally we never moved out alone. We were always together.

"What do you mean, where they are dropped off?"

He shrugged his shoulders. I got along well with both. They had not been here long, were inexperienced and that was, they certainly fatal. Inattention can have serious consequences! Mean in some cases, even death. Depending on how deep you already are in the shit.

"I'll miss you," I whispered.

"You will not be the last," he said seriously.

"Times change, Jacob. It will again be quiet, "I tried to calm him.

Even though he was in a good mood most of the time, he was never careless and naive. Jacob is in the most difficult situations to keep a cool head. And so far, which has saved us time and again the ass. He knew when the going gets tough and then he knew what to do. His greatest weakness was the fear for me. He had made it his job to protect me.

"Yes ... just wondering how many are caught up to that yet?"

"Debt is the large dealers and pimps. Because we need not delude ourselves. The incidents are piling up on the streets. They act more and more without thinking, it's getting worse. And since the authorities to the big fish not ran dare they make chasing the small, "he sighed.

"Yes, to us. As order would reign in the streets if we all disappear from the scene. Today was damn close. It is increasingly difficult to survive for us. "

"But it's doable," I tried to convince him.

Because I knew what will happen next. He will now begin to tell me how shit everything is and ... I said, had to get here somehow. When I do not know myself, what kind of a mess we live.

"Damn ... it would never have come this far. If I had just enough to pay attention to you. "

I groaned.

"Jacob ..." I sat up and took his face in my hands, forcing him to look at me.

"... Stop it. What has happened is not your fault and that you "know, sadly shaking his head.

"I failed twice. And I will never forgive myself. Leah might still be alive and you'd be ... you guys never landed on the needle. "

I breathed in and out deeply. This guilt gnawing inside him. Although I am the one who alone is to blame for all this.

"When are you going only to understand that it was never your fault? You've tried everything to save us from this fate. But we had been the ones who have taken advantage of the moment. So stop to start now, I cannot listen today. "

"Yes, because I was too weak to prevent this moment. You were so incredibly young, you knew not what awaits you. I should have prevented it. You would never have come my way. "

My eyes filled with tears.

"Do not say that. You were there for us, you helped us. Without you we would have been lost. "

"As if I'd ever be able to offer you another chance! It was clear from the outset that it would be to what I had at that time already. And yet ... I have you added. Without me, you would be ... have been better off and Leah, ... would still be alive. "

I shook my head stubbornly. The first tears began to run. I could not stand it when he talks about Sun

"How many times do we have to have this conversation yet? Whenever something goes wrong, you start with this theme. I am so sorry for Jacob, why cannot you just let it be based? But as you want, then we just chew it through again and then fall back into the abyss full of guilt and self-loathing, please as you want ... And we would have thus come to the damn needle. You'd have to know best. Do you really think we would have found a way out of all this shit? "

"You had it succeeded, I'm sure."

Now I was getting angry.

"Your guilt makes you crazy, Jacob Black. If anyone has to go to them to reason, then I. I was the one who listened to her words with enthusiasm of escape. And it was I who fled with her from this goddamn home. And I was the one who was seduced by the idea to press just like them. And I was the one who helped her to put the first shot and I was which was to have been there when she bought the stuff from this dealer of wankers. I was the one who did nothing to prevent any of the Jacob, I had been there, do not you...! And when they insisted the new Eitsch (heroin) first try, also because I have not intervened, but they just leave. And add us not to go there, as we had been naive. Leah and I both knew exactly to what we get involved there. We have carefully chosen this path, so do listen to you to finish because of matters to which you bear no guilt. "

During my speech, I was running constantly tears down the cheeks, which he followed with a pained look, and I silently listened.

"And where was I when so much has happened that should not have happened?"

"Jake ..." I whispered with a depressed voice.

"No, tell Bella. Say I to Turkey (withdrawal symptoms) and was not strong enough to pay attention to you. Say you're going on my account again in the city to obtain heroin. But you forced on the basis of little money and because their initial withdrawal symptoms waiting to buy a package from an unknown dealer. A dealer who asked only half and you (deadly poisonous alkaloid, small amount) instead of heroin, strychnine was. And also say that I did not even ask how you are gotten to three servings, but where the money would never have been enough for that much. Say that I just took it and at that moment thought only of me and my pressure. "

Sniffling I got up and staggered back a few steps. Looked down at him with bleary gaze and caught his troubled glance.

"We can give both of us so much to blame as we would like. Leah them will not come again. You would not have wanted that we take account of their death so ready. She knew the road would mean her death and she accepted it with a smile. It should not have been so early, I give you right. But what may be even and what not? Just you had to know that fate would never kind to us and just waiting for another opportunity for us to fuck her in the ass, "I sobbed and buried my face in his hands.

Leah's death took me still having terrible. She was my best friend. No, that was not even know she was like a sister to me. We went together. Through them I was able to leave my past behind me. We walked this path together, and had vowed to finish it together, one of us should do something. But so far, there was not, because I know she would not have wanted that I would follow her to death ... SO. And after meeting Jacob, it was clear one should come to an end that the other two would go on. "Fight to the end", which was her favorite saying. "But for what we are fighting for? " I had once asked.

This question she could not answer. She just said, "The time will tell us." At that time I had not understood it, now I will do it. And all for what I was struggling, her friendship with Jacob. Because we were both lost souls who were lucky to have each other.

And just so lucky, got up slowly and walked towards me. He locked me in his arms without a word. He felt guilty because he has made me cry, but could not just stop trying to convince me. He fought a battle he could not win easily. He could not let me go, but neither, he could live with the thought that I would die on the street.

IF ... I would hope that I would fight just as likely to HIS life. Crying, I buried my face against his chest and he. It's in my hair I dug my hands slightly trembling in his leather jacket and breathed its soothing scent. I was a little dizzy and my head throbbed. My mouth was full of saliva. It was nothing new to me, I knew what was wrong with me. Long he held me until we both had steadied.

I raised my head and smiled at him lazily. He replied, stroking me with both thumbs the tears from her cheeks.

"I would not stand up well to lose yet," he whispered hoarsely.

"And I cannot bear to lose you. So please do me the like, and finally listen to it. Please Jacob, I cannot bear to see you suffer. We both know that we have no way out, so stop constantly too feverishly looking for ME. I will not leave you alone. "

He gave me a pained.

"Bella, you know what I want."

"Yes, and you know, that I do not want it, so we'll spare both this discussion."

A fit of coughing shook me and he held me protectively.

"Look at you, look what that stuff does to you. Please Bella, do it for me. Embark in therapy, you can do it, "he pleaded.

As so often and as often happens, I shook my head.

"I'm not going anywhere without you. And you know as well as I do that I put in too deep to change something about my situation can. Stop it with your reparations and let's just move on, shall we? "

"Continue to do? How long will that work? Who, if not you know, my health? The heroin is like to eat through my organs. And it starts with you and to have. I go to meet my death laughing, but you cannot and will not "accept, he cried applied firmly and looked me in the eye.

With a sad smile, I put a hand on his cheek.

"Why not? Again and again the same conversation. So often we talk about it. I can no longer hear. Fucking shit, it's like that, now it finally Accept. I love you Jake, but sometimes you can be terrible effort. "

He groaned annoyed.

"Do not you see that I want to protect you," he said defiantly like a little boy.

He was so cute when he's big brother can hang out. Yet just as annoying.

"Jacob ...", it was getting to me stupid.

He rose again purely in something over which there was no longer any reason to talk. For years, the same conversation, over and over again. As he hoped to convince me sometime. It was absurd! Death was a constant companion of my life, so why should his words frighten me in any way? He did so only when he has no dope too long in the blood. Then he will always terribly melodramatic.

"... We both want to bet you in less than an hour back to normal in the skull are finally cease and talk to such a bullshit. So please, do me a favor and just one hour your door, my head throbs got enough. "

In an hour we should be about `home '. Then he could ram a needle in the arm and stop responding over. Yes, I know ... it sucks and sounds really hard. But that was our life and for me there was simply no reason to make me so mad when we both know very well that sooner or later everything will not matter anyway. And long talks and proposed changes do not make sense because ... both of us are simply not strong enough to deprive us of the heroin. There has us too much at his mercy.

The problem with Jacob was quite simple. That itself. From the effect instantly hires his brain and he is pretty good at it, gather the obvious and to realize very quickly where this path will lead I was better to hide the reason, because I knew they would end up losing it. The addiction was just bigger. I can easily put up with our lot better than he can put up with MY. Goes around the back in his own past, but my preserves and maintains it.

He sighed result scratched the back of his head and patted me lightly with the other hand on the cheek.

"Come on, let's go ... 'homecoming', you need an ... Print! "

Relieved, I nodded, stood on tiptoes and gave him a kiss on the cheek. I knew this conversation was far from over. That would probably be when one of us has lost the battle against the Eitsch. But for now, as always, has the desire ... won. After all, he slid straight on direct route into withdrawal. And that was something I could not ignore junkie.

Hand in hand, we ran towards our uncertain future.


	3. Home is

Bella POV

From my walk upright, more and more limping was crooked. Jake supports me while I haunted mild stomach cramps. We were now nearly forty-five minutes on the road. It had to be after 20 clocks, it was drizzling, and you could see hardly anything. Thank goodness, we were soon `home '. Had we known what to wait for complications to us, we would surely have pressed before we left. Or, at least what brought.

We just wanted to steal a car radio, not tomorrow be able to buy as much money must. Yesterday Jake had got together quite well. It was enough for the whole day today, so we had allowed us to be lazy and just spend the day at the warehouse. How exactly he came to this chunk of money, I would rather not know. With the amount dope he had it was sure that he must have turned a big thing.

The streets were still dangerous tags, as in the night. Although this probably depended on the perception. For us, anyway, is the night, the safest time. The time when the scum of its holes comes. Dealers, pimps, whores, prostitutes and so many more, before which every good citizen sheltered tear would take off. Us, these figure less harm than the cops. They were trying to survive just like any other here. On the street, people learned how to do automatically what was forbidden!

That is why we are going in the evening. We have enough dope for tomorrow morning, but then we have to get something. One should always watch, enough reserve money or to have heroin but just in case there is a day when not so much drops. These days, unfortunately, it was more common than was good for us.

"Shall I carry you? " He asked me for the fifth time since 10 minutes.

"More and more ... no," I moaned.

"... You its self sucks."

In the corner of my eye I could see, as he rolled his eyes, before I lost the ground under his feet. Before I knew it, I was hanging on Jakes shoulder and cursed softly. He laughed and walked away with me.

"Honestly, this is not absolutely necessary," I wheezed and coughed at the same time strong.

"No, of course not," he said dryly.

I was beaten and left, like a real loser, let your arms. Actually, it did well enough to not run them. I hated these moments. You felt out shit and just plain awful. With my trembling hand, I wiped the cold sweat from his forehead and directed all my remaining concentration at Jacobs uniform steps to distract me a little of the pain and the oppressive feeling.

I saw with an inward sigh, as his jeans clung to his calves and felt the tremor of his body. The first signs made to create a not quite so much, but it's not long until it becomes uncomfortable. Seattle we had already left and were on an oviposited concrete path.

Only those who knew about it would discover it. Fortunately, almost nobody knew about it. A few years ago, Jake had discovered it by chance. Packed by curiosity, he followed him. It leads into a great forest. The concrete slabs are often so damaged that they cannot be seen once again in many places. Nature had her adopted.

But eventually the forest thins and exposes a rather gray spots between all of nature. Probably the area has once served the military for many, many years. As an arsenal or whatever. There was not much left. Two warehouses, one half collapsed and no roof. The other in much better condition, in which we lived, if one could call it because Sun

The place was like its path, paved with concrete slabs. Otherwise, there was much debris, rubble and ruins. You could at least be sure that many more buildings have stood here had. Some outlines were still be detected. And an old, rusty water tower and an observation tower. But everything so dated and rickety, one did well to keep his distance.

It was not necessarily the dream of every girl, but we could not say with certainty that we had made it even better, than many of us. Many of the others had, not even a roof over his head. No, we had it made ... really good.

And the best part ... no one but us knew this place. Except for a few children who were found here in the course of time through the play, we never had visitors. We had made clear to them that they should not come here again and they would do well not to tell anyone. They had to have it held!

We felt safe and, somehow ... home. We had to have no fear of being discovered. Had to look and not constantly. The best we could move freely here A few steps to the east, began shortly before the forest again, flowed a small stream. The water was clean and clear. It has allowed us to wash our clothes and our own.

The cold did not bother us. Who lives in this neighborhood used to be in the cold and the rain. For us it was as normal as other sunshine. Of course, we do not necessarily bath in winter, but in all other seasons already. Meanwhile, it was the beginning of March, the winter had been hard. But we had overcome, and then it gradually became milder. On some nights, we did not even make fire. We had enough to drink here and we had our rest.

Food was with us as scarce as any other homeless also. The only good thing was that heroin took one's appetite and hunger. Consequently we ate far too little, but it was enough to keep us strong.

We were lucky with food, so we buried them with a plastic bag, near the river. The earth is there so cold, that they do not spoil as quickly.

We had a small fire pit in our ... mmmh how should you call that? Housing? Well into the room where we stayed most of the time. The only one in which a window was broken. There was enough wood in the forest and lighters or matches, which included a junkie, as the drug itself

We did not freeze and could eat warm. Again a privilege that we had the other street dwellers ahead. Bush food! Well,.. Better than nothing!

If you looked at the circumstances, we had it made us even quite nice. I respected all times ensure that the clothes are clean and no trash lying around. Jake is actually the matter, but by my argument that I wanted to share my mattress with no rat, he was nevertheless convinced and failed to have lying around his waste

In this room there were out of the fireplace, a big old mattress on the loose seat four people and have to many blankets and pillows. In addition to the mattress, cabinets were thrown together from junk yards, where everyone could put his personal belongings and clothes. Then another old worn leather sofa and a small living room table where already the paint flaking off. For light, ensured two kerosene lamps. Jacobs pride and joy!

Originally there were times three. Well, I had one defused. Jake was a whole two weeks angry on me. Since, I could not those things get too close. He had stolen on a flea market 4 years ago. They spent little of the stuff, and what they can burn if it runs low, we get ourselves new. In very rare cases, we even buy it. That was it, strictly speaking, but it was enough completely.

"Now let me down yet, we're almost there," I said, choppy, and he began to cough.

He did it without a murmur. Despite the darkness I could see the sweat shining on his face. We drew the rest of the way with each other and were both breathing through a relief when we saw the outline of the buildings.

Once inside, I let myself fall immediately on the mattress. Jake turned on the light and went to one of the cupboards. The turkey gave me a hard time. The stomach cramps were getting stronger. Softly whimpering, I rolled into a ball and squeezed his eyes shut. To the disgusting, cold sweat could get used to, but this pain was unbearable. And this was just the beginning!

My headache had also increased in intensity and my bones ached at this constant shaking. I breathed choppy through the open mouth and wished at that moment nothing more than a shot.

"Right honey, I'm almost done," whispered to me and stroked my Jake the bonded hair from her face.

With an effort I opened my eyes and saw the look with shiny cutlery, which he had spread out before me on the floor. Although there it went bad, he took care of me at once. That was the best proof of friendship, a fixer could make another. Because in most cases, everyone thought only of himself.

While Jake half of all Gram did the blackened spoon, I tried my right arm, so good, I was able to rescue from the annoying stuff. He passed me without a word and without looking at me, with a hand strap for the setting, with the other he dribbled a little water and lemon juice to the heroin.

When I was ready, I let myself fall back moaning and pumped his fist properly before I firmly stuck together. The clacking of the lighter sent a chill through my wet back. The hairs on my arms and my toes lined up bow to with anticipation up.

With veiled glance I saw him raise the syringe and easily with the nail of his index finger on the other hand snapped, then turned his gaze back to me and smiled slightly before he grabbed my arm and gave him his attention. He brushed a few times with his thumb over my elbow, it was not easy, there still to find a suitable place. It was generally not easy at all to find a place. I had some thrombosis on the body and numerous abscesses.

His hand was shaking badly, but I trusted him. Frankly, I was basically also a damn. I felt the sting and certainly not to miss the vein, you get used to. My marksmanship was, at that moment, much smaller than his.

As the small tip, touched my skin, I let out a gush of accumulated air and closed his eyes. Then came the sting, he sat perfectly. And at the same time, the desired feeling of weightlessness.

My upper body bucked as he slowly pumped the poison in my vein. I moaned and gasped, fast and loud! Any walkers would interpret my lute with certainty differently. Because it sounded to me REALLY ALWAYS ... to quite loud and passionate.

But that's about it. The absolute ecstasy! Everything flew past me, my world suddenly became loose and fluffy and colorful,... so colorful! She devoured me in a moment, full of future bliss.

_

I opened my eyes, the flash was over. My breathing was shallow, wet my view. Comforting warmth flowed through my limbs, my bones, retreated to my organs and stepped forward to the spinal cord. I sat up, stroked my face and looked out for Jake.

He sat on the sofa, put his head back on the seat, his legs stretched out of hand. The left arm still tied and the syringe limps in his right hand. A smile on my lips as I got up and lazily walked over to him.

I sat down beside him and dissolved the band. He took the syringe out of his hand and laid it gently on the little table next to the rest of the dope and the other syringe. I lightly stroked his cheek, his eyes were half open. He stirred and opened it completely. I leaned over to him, he laughed when I came into view.

He suddenly he straightened up and pushed me onto the couch and fell right on me instantly. I giggled as he began to tickle me. This hearted moments were ... the most beautiful, the feeling of well-being ... the most satisfying ... and this man's best friend, because you can ask for.

"Let go of me Jake," I gasped air gasping.

Laughing, he stood up and grabbed the two syringes. Walked casually to the bucket by the door. There was fresh water in it and next to it in the small ... well, the contents must not be discussed carefully. He moved to fresh water and squirts the contents of the smaller ones. He repeated this until the syringes were clean.

Each had his own cutlery. In very rare cases, we used the same needle. We were very careful to avoid any infection. We were able to say with assurance that they are both healthy. None of us had ever shared the cutlery other Fixers. Nevertheless, the cannula, inflammation or bacteria share with you. These are things over which make no other thoughts. You do not care. We were lucky that we had someone who we do not does not matter. And if one is so lucky, then you begin to think about his actions in order to protect the loved ones.

He cleared all the utensils back into the drawer and threw down next to me on the sofa. His little needle and fixed pupil, took me prisoner. His eyes were swollen and he was in the truest sense of the word, delivered from shoots. I giggled and snuggled against him.

He absently strokes my shoulder. We enjoyed the large effect, they flew by much too quickly again. It usually took 5-6 hours, but the elation, in which we hovered just ebbs, starting much earlier. Chronic users receive hardly satisfying, but the avoidance of withdrawal symptoms is the goal!

Well, with us ... and it was! Previously, we had spent hours flat. We floated in a permanent cloud of euphoria. It was absolutely amazing, we finally had the feeling with themselves to be at peace. No one had told us that it will not always be so. If we press now holds the euphoric feeling to much longer. A small price to pay for the effort we take on ourselves.

But as for us, the intoxicating effect is not the real reason. The reason begin to push more than half, is escape from the experience. The Eitsch (heroin) helps dislodge and it's ... really good at it. We needed something to forget about and found it in heroin.

Today we only press for three reasons. Because we are no longer dependent and without cope because we have no reason to try it because it would not and without lengthy euphoric effect, still repressed the memories and the lasting, fortunately.

Problems arise, then they ... DRIVEN away!

For me, handed out the ultimate reason to keep going. If one before I'm more afraid than before the withdrawal, then ahead of time and then the thoughts and memories that are then haunt me again. Once again, I would not be able to withstand. No never, I wanted to be reminded of what has made me what I am today. I would rather die!

And as it was in the moment, I liked it quite well. It was still just as at the beginning. We were just us, with the difference that was missing Leah. But everything else remained the same. We had a lot of friends in the scene, but did not want to require the fully belong to them. Her life was more complicated than ours. Here we had it quiet and cozy. Located in central Seattle, everyone thought only of himself. Fixers were loners. If a group came together, she shrank back as fast as it grew.

Besides heroin, they needed nothing to be happy. With us it was different. We need, as much as we needed the Eitsch (heroin). We simply would not fit them. When we are in town, then we visit the people who shared the same pain and the same fate with us.

But we did not want to live just like them. We had over the years, created a kind of everyday life and we did not want to give up. Only one thing had changed.

The time has left its mark on us!

I could not cover up the consumer, they looked at me right away that I'm doomed. When Jake was different, as I said, he took him outside the dope is not so much to like in the normal cases.

His hair was dull, the dark circles were only from nearby to identify with him. His lips were rough and brittle and cracked his skin. In many places, he had literally scraped down to the meat. But all that could be seen through his dark skin barely. What is amazing with him, is this mountain of muscle. I had never seen a junkie who was outwardly in such good shape as Jacob. Anyway not pushing on this duration. His stamina was almost limitless. One could see that he for his size, was much too thin. But the muscles, made it up for it.

Really impressive, but everything had its price! Because only he and I knew what it was really about his health. He seems to work fit and healthy, but if it was in any way. SOME after physical exertion, with him came the aftermath. At first, he can run and jump likes a young deer, but he hardly takes a rest, his body shows him what has become of him. Because what it does to their appearance does not heroin, it to his organs. We did not need a doctor to know that they made gradually limp.

How often he had passed recently? How often he had the gall half out when you cough? How many times he suffered from shortness of breath? At heart racing, from constipation, diarrhea or fatigue? Last year, he was suffering from jaundice twice. His health gave me great anxiety. But who is surprised? A 20 year old man who has suppressed his five producers of age?

Only the next shot fueled it up again. After each print, he was as fit as a half years ago, when I first met him. Even if the dope, not permanently bring the desired sensations with it, so it gave us the level that we need to feel good. It was like an alcoholic who runs again only right if he has reached his blood alcohol level.

And I well ... I looked like a walking death. Just how big I was, I could not say. I had no idea when the last time I measured. Probably 5 years ago, when the world was perfect for me yet. But I could say with certainty that I was too thin for my size a lot. My bones sticking out and an ass you could not find with me. At least breasts were visible.

My once-smooth skin was now itchy and cracked. They itched like hell. My hair had lost its luster. They were dry and broken, handed me up to the shoulder blades. Eventually, they stopped easy to grow or grow only very slowly ... I know.

As Jake, my lips were cracked. My dark circles I hung up to the knees and on my face loomed distinct red spots. My nails were thin and broke after only three millimeters. At least I still had all his teeth in his mouth! Jake could not say what. He had to say goodbye to two already.

Outwardly, I was thus a lot worse off, but inside still quite acceptable. But you could also not forget that Jake pushed much longer than me. My poor condition, you could not move to heroin, which had always been lousy.

I often had a nosebleed, which was due to all the stuff that I had snorting. Otherwise, I felt actually pretty good. I was a bit shocked when my period was just one day away and never came back. In retrospect, I was quite happy about it. It was just disgusting. No way to wash thoroughly, no way down there to stop anything. I mean ... Hi, has anyone actually have any idea how expensive are tampons? For that we would get two loose needles!

Jacob made yet often chooses the Leah and I had something. He did it anyway, but he did all of this. He is just too cute! But that's not important anymore. I probably could not even have children. And probably that's a good thing. What should I do with a child? And above all, what would become of this child?

No, no ... should get children be for the women who deserve it. I could not even take care of myself, as a child then? Honestly, I never felt the desire to become a mother.

After all, what ... no one has one ... cannot be taken!


End file.
